When you're pregnant, everyone around you is excited for the little one's arrival. You look forward for the day when he or she decides to make their grand entrance. Once the little one arrives you're on almost a natural high of excitement. And then a few days later, everything goes crashing down (or at least it did for me). No one told me just how hard the baby blues are after having a baby. I was not prepared for what I was about to go through. I was so excited from becoming a mom and having such a beautiful, healthy little guy right there in front of me. Then my hormones decided to push me off a cliff for the next 5-6 weeks. I was a wreck. I would cry for absolutely no reason. I would cry just because of the time, because baby D was a day older, because it was cold...it didn't matter. I'm not saying a few tears, I'm talking full out bawling. I felt horrible. It really felt like it would never end. Finally weeks later, the baby blues starting easing up bit by bit.
I know this period is a bit different for each person, and probably each new baby, but there should be a discussion about this. It wasn't mentioned during any baby classes, no one around me told me how bad it would be, nothing. Not even anyone at the hospital mentioned this would be coming when I was being discharged. My poor husband didn't know what to do. I did make it through. My doctor at my postpartum checkup told me to get out and take walks with baby D when the weather allowed. That did help.
Going forward, I wish there was more discussion about this period and ways to cope. There should be a support group for just baby blues. Hopefully with the next little kiddo that comes, the baby blues will stay away, or at least make a minimal appearance.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Pressures on Being A New Mom
From the time I was pregnant, I began researching everything I could so that I could make the best decisions for the little baby growing inside of me and for myself as well. I read websites, posted on message boards, and spoke with friends, family, and coworkers. During this research period (pre-birth), I decided I wanted a "natural" birth (ie vaginal birth) and wanted to breastfeed. I was normally a thin person so I (naively) thought I would spring back to my old self in no time after giving birth. I never knew what a person actually looked like after giving birth. I never felt any pressure while I was pregnant from anyone on the choices I was making.
Once I was in labor, disaster struck. What I set out wanting went out the window with conditions beyond my control. I did not end up with the birth that I thought I would have. I ended up having to be induced as my little one did not want to come out. I labored for many hours before it was decided that a c-section was necessary. Little baby D was not in the right position. He was head down, but he couldn't get his head where it needed to be. I was a mess as the last thing I wanted was surgery. I feel like nowadays, c-sections are so looked down upon as if I didn't really give birth or that it was the easy way out. I was even told by a family member days after giving birth that I didn't actually give birth as I didn't push him out. I was horrified. I can tell you, a c-section is not an easy birth. I was extremely uncomfortable and sick during it that I couldn't even keep my eyes open to stare at my husband holding our little guy. The recovery from it was twice as bad. I had complications and it took over a month (at least 6 weeks) where I was comfortable enough to actually walk through the grocery store. I'm not less of a mom because I was unable to have the so called natural birth. I now have a beautiful scar across my stretch marked belly that is a constant reminder of a miraculous day.
Pressure number 2 was breast feeding. The hospital lactation consultants were degrading to say the least. Completely unhelpful. I was pretty much told that I could try breast feeding if I want but it would probably never work. This was less than 24 hours after giving birth and all due to breast size. Where these consultants received their training is beyond me, but from everything I've read, breast size has nothing to do with being able to breast feed. Luckily I visited message boards online and one such one was a breast feeding board. Many mamas on there discussed seeing lactation consultants and I remembered during pregnancy that a coworker of mine mentioned that his wife who had just given birth had visited one who fixed their issue. I decided to visit that same office that my coworker's wife had gone to which was through a different hospital than I delivered. The consultant I worked with was amazing, but to my avail, I was never able to exclusively breastfeed. I do still however breastfeed and supplement with formula. When I returned to work from maternity leave, I could herar it in my coworkers' voices that they were judging me because I was unable to exclusively breastfeed. I was asked many times if I had seen a lactation consultant and if I really had tried everything. My breastfeeding journey is a story for another day, but I really did try all that I could.
And the last pressure is weight. Why our society puts so much pressure on weight of new moms is beyond me. I also could not believe the things other women/moms have said to me in regards to my weight post pregnancy. How sad is it when we can't even support one another? A family member told me when I was around 7-9 weeks postpartum that obviously I'm bigger than I used to be. I bit my tongue but it still hurt. I just had a baby 2 months prior and you're judging me on my body already? Even worse, I saw a coworker last month whom I hadn't seen since I gave birth who asked if I was pregnant. I responded that I was not but did give birth earlier this year. She looked at me again and told me I needed to work on the sit-ups. I was stunned. I explained, I'm guessing that I did not know what else to say, that I had a baby months prior and was huge before giving birth. I do have very stretched out skin to say the least. At the time, I was only 8-10 lbs above pre-pregnancy weight.
As mamas, we need to support one another. We should not judge on the birth experience of one mama versus another. We should not judge on if a baby is exclusively breastfed or formula fed. We should certainly not judge a mother on how fast she loses her baby weight.
Once I was in labor, disaster struck. What I set out wanting went out the window with conditions beyond my control. I did not end up with the birth that I thought I would have. I ended up having to be induced as my little one did not want to come out. I labored for many hours before it was decided that a c-section was necessary. Little baby D was not in the right position. He was head down, but he couldn't get his head where it needed to be. I was a mess as the last thing I wanted was surgery. I feel like nowadays, c-sections are so looked down upon as if I didn't really give birth or that it was the easy way out. I was even told by a family member days after giving birth that I didn't actually give birth as I didn't push him out. I was horrified. I can tell you, a c-section is not an easy birth. I was extremely uncomfortable and sick during it that I couldn't even keep my eyes open to stare at my husband holding our little guy. The recovery from it was twice as bad. I had complications and it took over a month (at least 6 weeks) where I was comfortable enough to actually walk through the grocery store. I'm not less of a mom because I was unable to have the so called natural birth. I now have a beautiful scar across my stretch marked belly that is a constant reminder of a miraculous day.
Pressure number 2 was breast feeding. The hospital lactation consultants were degrading to say the least. Completely unhelpful. I was pretty much told that I could try breast feeding if I want but it would probably never work. This was less than 24 hours after giving birth and all due to breast size. Where these consultants received their training is beyond me, but from everything I've read, breast size has nothing to do with being able to breast feed. Luckily I visited message boards online and one such one was a breast feeding board. Many mamas on there discussed seeing lactation consultants and I remembered during pregnancy that a coworker of mine mentioned that his wife who had just given birth had visited one who fixed their issue. I decided to visit that same office that my coworker's wife had gone to which was through a different hospital than I delivered. The consultant I worked with was amazing, but to my avail, I was never able to exclusively breastfeed. I do still however breastfeed and supplement with formula. When I returned to work from maternity leave, I could herar it in my coworkers' voices that they were judging me because I was unable to exclusively breastfeed. I was asked many times if I had seen a lactation consultant and if I really had tried everything. My breastfeeding journey is a story for another day, but I really did try all that I could.
And the last pressure is weight. Why our society puts so much pressure on weight of new moms is beyond me. I also could not believe the things other women/moms have said to me in regards to my weight post pregnancy. How sad is it when we can't even support one another? A family member told me when I was around 7-9 weeks postpartum that obviously I'm bigger than I used to be. I bit my tongue but it still hurt. I just had a baby 2 months prior and you're judging me on my body already? Even worse, I saw a coworker last month whom I hadn't seen since I gave birth who asked if I was pregnant. I responded that I was not but did give birth earlier this year. She looked at me again and told me I needed to work on the sit-ups. I was stunned. I explained, I'm guessing that I did not know what else to say, that I had a baby months prior and was huge before giving birth. I do have very stretched out skin to say the least. At the time, I was only 8-10 lbs above pre-pregnancy weight.
As mamas, we need to support one another. We should not judge on the birth experience of one mama versus another. We should not judge on if a baby is exclusively breastfed or formula fed. We should certainly not judge a mother on how fast she loses her baby weight.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Homemade Baby Food
Have you ever looked at the ingredients of baby food? Many are filled with fillers and ingredients that I couldn't even begin to pronounce. The price of each jar would add up fast. That's why I decided I was going to make homemade baby food when I was pregnant. Now that I'm actually doing it, it's so easy. I also get a since of satisfaction that I know what I'm feeding baby D.
To make your own baby food, you don't need to buy any of the marketed baby food makers. You can use what you already have in your kitchen such as a steamer, blender, food processor, etc. The only apparatus we purchased were containers to freeze the food once made and be able to take on the go or to daycare. We love these containers by oxo:
To make your own baby food, you don't need to buy any of the marketed baby food makers. You can use what you already have in your kitchen such as a steamer, blender, food processor, etc. The only apparatus we purchased were containers to freeze the food once made and be able to take on the go or to daycare. We love these containers by oxo:
These containers hold up well and are easy to clean. It also comes in a nice stackable container so that you can stack many on top of one another. They come in 2 oz and 4 oz sizes. I like the 4 oz size as it will grow with baby D. I like to make a few weeks worth of food at one time so baby D normally has his own shelf in our freezer with these containers stacked up.
To actually make the baby purees, all you need to do (depending on the food) is mash, steam, boil, or bake. I like using Wholesome Baby Food for recipes. This website has detailed info on how to make each food and recipes on adding seasonings or combining different foods together. The website also has a nice printable list on which foods to feed your baby depending on baby's age. To actually puree, we have a Ninja chopper which works really well.
Making homemade baby food has also made me try new foods. I never had mangoes before until I was cutting one up to make for baby D. It's quite delicious!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Cloth Diapering
I'm always looking for new ways to save money. As such, I was reviewing ways to save money with baby D. I decided to start researching cloth diapering. While I was pregnant, I asked the hubs if he would ever want to cloth diaper. He said absolutely not and I was fine with that. Now I'm intrigued. I have a coworker who cloth diapers and he said it works well for them and its inexpensive. Once I started researching though, I was overwhelmed. There are so many different styles or methods to cloth diapering and different steps to take just to correctly lauder the diapers. Let alone all the different brands...but then again I love researching and I was not about to give up. I decided on doing pocket diapers as it was close to disposables but we could change the absorbency. This was important as baby D keeps peeing through his disposable diapers at night. But what brand to choose? And would the hubs get on board?
After researching more on pocket diapers, it seems like the bumgenius 4.0 diapers are popular and well liked. I ordered a couple to try and anxiously awaited the shipment.
In the mean time I had to get the hubs on board. To do this, I just talked his ear off and hoped that once he saw how it easy it was, that he too would like to cloth diaper. But then the shipment of those cute pocket diapers were taking forever and baby D was still peeing through his diapers at night. Then while I was at Target I found this:
After researching more on pocket diapers, it seems like the bumgenius 4.0 diapers are popular and well liked. I ordered a couple to try and anxiously awaited the shipment.
In the mean time I had to get the hubs on board. To do this, I just talked his ear off and hoped that once he saw how it easy it was, that he too would like to cloth diaper. But then the shipment of those cute pocket diapers were taking forever and baby D was still peeing through his diapers at night. Then while I was at Target I found this:
A Charlie Banana pocket diaper. This is one that is not talked about much online but I was dying to try a cloth diaper so I purchased it. I brought it home, washed as directed, and waited for bedtime to try it out. That night was miraculous! It worked!
In another post I'll update on which diaper I like better, how cloth diapering is going, and if the hubs will ever get on board.
4 Months!
Baby D has hit the 4 month mark! And he did so with a vengeance! He now weighs in at 11 lbs 10 ounces and 24.75 inches. Yes, he's an adorable skinny baby. In the week to week and a half leading up to the big 4 month mark, Baby D learned to laugh, roll from belly to back, and found his feet. I can't believe my little guy is 1/3 of the way to being a year old. How time flies!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Pumping, Spit Up, and Other Tales From The Workplace
Breastfeeding is an awesome experience. Pumping? Not so much. In fact, it sucks. Being hooked up to a machine that pumps milk out of your boobs seriously can make any woman feel like a cow. Not only this, but watching and knowing how much milk is coming out is not exactly stress friendly. However, pumping is good for one thing; free time to catch up on the news, blogs, message boards, or any book that I'm trying to read. That is, if I'm actually working in an office setting or at home. Pumping while driving is doable, but not exactly comfortable. And having to pump in your car wherever is, well, interesting. My job travels so each day I could be pumping somewhere different. At least I know Baby D is getting some of the good stuff while I'm away. I do believe a fellow pumper was leaving the nurses' office as I was coming in. I just have to say, rock on fellow pumper. Rock on. With how many times I've been down there pumping, I don't think I've ever been there at the same time as another pumper.
This morning, before I went to pump, I went and used the restroom. Why am I telling you this? Because as I came out of the stall and looked in the mirror while washing my hands, I realize that right under my boob on my nice place shirt, there is a nice thick line of spit up. How it ended up there I have no idea. That's twice in the last week I've worn spit up to work. I wonder how many people saw me walking around with that on though.
I was joking with the husband the other day that we must have started something. Some if those close to us are now pregnant! By the end of the year our little baby circle will be growing! I am so excited. Babies are so much fun and it will be nice to have other young mommies around.
On a last note, every office should have free caffeine for parents. Not just coffee, as I'm not a coffee drinker, but some sodas too. I am beyond tired today, the office is extremely quiet, and it's dark. I have no windows anywhere around my desk. Talk about forcing my self to stay awake an productive. On a happy note, at least it's Friday!
This morning, before I went to pump, I went and used the restroom. Why am I telling you this? Because as I came out of the stall and looked in the mirror while washing my hands, I realize that right under my boob on my nice place shirt, there is a nice thick line of spit up. How it ended up there I have no idea. That's twice in the last week I've worn spit up to work. I wonder how many people saw me walking around with that on though.
I was joking with the husband the other day that we must have started something. Some if those close to us are now pregnant! By the end of the year our little baby circle will be growing! I am so excited. Babies are so much fun and it will be nice to have other young mommies around.
On a last note, every office should have free caffeine for parents. Not just coffee, as I'm not a coffee drinker, but some sodas too. I am beyond tired today, the office is extremely quiet, and it's dark. I have no windows anywhere around my desk. Talk about forcing my self to stay awake an productive. On a happy note, at least it's Friday!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Mother's Day and Becoming A Mom
I celebrated my first Mother's Day this past weekend which was such a weird feeling. I'm still getting used to the idea of being a mom. Of course I know I have a son but it's so weird to think of myself as a mother. Baby D and my husband made an awesome day for me and I couldn't ask for a better 1st Mother's Day. It involved sleeping it (woohoo, 8:30!!!), lots of good food, and some awesome gifts. Baby D/his daycare also made me a card which is the most awesome. It has his cute little footprints on it in the shape of a butterfly.
I've come to realize just how becoming a mother has changed me and my outlook on things. Sure, people tell you how a baby changes things. But it also changes you. What used to seem important before Baby D, is no longer important. To be honest, I haven't had my hair done since before Baby D was born, my sense of style has changed now that I have a bit of a belly pooch thanks to pregnancy and a c-section, and stressing out about how others perceive me are a few of things that have changed. I'm a mom and my son comes before anything. (Thankfully my job understands this and can accommodate if Baby D is sick or if something were to happen). I rush off to work in the morning, work extremely hard and more efficiently than before, make sure to leave right on time to rush to pick up Baby D and spend what very few precious hours we have together before bedtime and starting the day over again. Our house is definitely not as clean as it usually is or how I normally would like it to be. Life is not at all about me anymore. Becoming a mother makes you selfless...to devote your time and your energy into your little baby. It's about making sure he or she is ok, that they're growing and developing and become this really awesome adult one day. Of course I still have goals for myself and still need to take care of myself, but I feel like my eyes have really opened to life itself. Having a child is amazing. I am still amazing the my husband and I created Baby D and that Baby D is a little piece of both him and I. The emotions I feel towards Baby D is something I have never felt and never knew I could feel.
I've come to realize just how becoming a mother has changed me and my outlook on things. Sure, people tell you how a baby changes things. But it also changes you. What used to seem important before Baby D, is no longer important. To be honest, I haven't had my hair done since before Baby D was born, my sense of style has changed now that I have a bit of a belly pooch thanks to pregnancy and a c-section, and stressing out about how others perceive me are a few of things that have changed. I'm a mom and my son comes before anything. (Thankfully my job understands this and can accommodate if Baby D is sick or if something were to happen). I rush off to work in the morning, work extremely hard and more efficiently than before, make sure to leave right on time to rush to pick up Baby D and spend what very few precious hours we have together before bedtime and starting the day over again. Our house is definitely not as clean as it usually is or how I normally would like it to be. Life is not at all about me anymore. Becoming a mother makes you selfless...to devote your time and your energy into your little baby. It's about making sure he or she is ok, that they're growing and developing and become this really awesome adult one day. Of course I still have goals for myself and still need to take care of myself, but I feel like my eyes have really opened to life itself. Having a child is amazing. I am still amazing the my husband and I created Baby D and that Baby D is a little piece of both him and I. The emotions I feel towards Baby D is something I have never felt and never knew I could feel.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
3 Months!
Baby D hit the 3 month mark this past weekend. He's no longer considered a newborn and we've made it out of the so called 4th trimester. It's crazy how much he's grown! He seems so tall now. In the past month he's become pretty talkative. He's still a very serious baby (who loves to observe everything around him) but when he smiles, it's precious! Baby D has become more interested in toys and likes to lay more on his back and play. He can grab these fabric blocks from Bright Starts:
and put the blocks up to his mouth. Baby D has also begun to play with Sofia the Giraffe:
But his favorite toy is still his playmat. He'll sometimes play long enough on there to allow my husband and I to eat a meal together.
Baby D is also tolerating tummy time a whole lot more and will actually lift his head and look around. At the beginning of the past month, baby D was discovering his hands. Now that they're discovered, he has officially become a thumb sucker. Each time he's ready to fall asleep, that thumb is in his mouth.
In the last month, baby D has had his first cold and spits up so much more. His daycare teacher was joking with another mom and I that the other mom's son must have been teaching baby D his spit up techniques. We go through outfits like crazy.
Everyone Has An Opinion
I noticed this during pregnancy but didn't think much of this. Absolutely everyone has an opinion on parenting. It doesn't matter if you're male or female or a person who's had children or someone who is childless. Everyone seriously has an opinion and thinks they know everything. I will admit, before becoming a parent, I was one of those people. However, to those who are parents, shame on you. (As I hide in a corner as I probably still judge). So shame on me as well. As a parent, we should know better to judge another parent for their parenting style. Unless of course, there is harm to the child/children involved.
During pregnancy and before, there are so many things I said I'd never do. But you know what? Take everything you think you know before kids and throw it away. Once that baby is born, you're in pure survival mode. It doesn't matter what you thought before. All you want is just a teensy bit of sleep or maybe a chance to actual put a piece of food in your mouth, you will do whatever it takes to make your little one happy.
And it's amazing the comments I get all the time...I should mention that baby D is just 3 months old. Comments such as:
You're spoiling the baby
You're not skinny anymore
It's time to give up breastfeeding
Add cereal to the bottle. He'll sleep through the night
Give him water
He's such a little guy (in regards to Baby D's weight)
I'm sure I can add so much more to this list...but I've probably forgotten a lot of advice/comments I've heard over time. What worked for one parent may not work for another. And I've also learned...there are so many different parenting styles. Not one is better than another. It's just that one parenting style fits someone better than another.
You know what I've learned? Every parent is different, every child is different, and you do what you need to do to survive. Nobody knows everything and things change through the years. And if it works for us, than great.
For what it's worth, please don't ever comment on a new mother's weight. Trust me, the last thing she wants to hear is someone discussing that she's yet to lose all the pregnancy weight. You know what? My body is so different that what it was before pregnancy and sure I still have weight to lose. You can't just lose it all overnight. It took 9 months (or in my case, 10 months) to put on that weight, why would it just be gone in a month?
I'm hopping off my soapbox now. Enough with my rant.
Monday, May 6, 2013
A Baby Really Changes Everything
Before being pregnant and even while pregnant, everyone tells you how a baby changes everything. Sure I believed them. I knew life would be different having a little person relying on you to provide every need and there is of course less freedom. However, there are certain aspects I never knew would change. One being, the need of a bigger car. I always said I would never drive a minivan and I didn't really understand why a family with one child needed a SUV/Van. After baby D came along, my understanding has drastically changed. First, our cars were no where big enough for the carseat. We had newer cars; a Toyota Corolla and Hyundai Elantra. When we purchased both, we thought they would be good when we had kids and were expanding the family. We were so, so wrong. The Toyota Corolla fit the carseat the best. But I would still sit pretty close to the steering wheel and the carseat would touch the back of the drivers seat. In the Elantra, the carseat sits on the passenger side. To fit, the passenger seat literally has to be all the way forward and straight up and the carseat still touches the back of the seat. It made being a passenger in the car extremely uncomfortable. Both the husband and I want a large family and there is no way two carseats would work. We then thought about the safety aspect of the carseat literally touching the back of the driver or passenger's chair. If we were in an accident and that seat moved at all, we felt like we would crush D's head. So we ended up with a new SUV.
The other big change was my attitude towards my job in general. Before kids, I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I enjoy getting out of the house, working, and receiving an income. It makes me feel accomplished. Then came along baby D. I absolutely loved maternity leave and spending every day all day with him. The end of maternity leave was extremely hard. I hate thinking that someone else is spending most of the day with my child and seeing his achievements and his smiles. I really feel like I'm missing out. I really hate dropping baby D off every morning. I would love to stay at home with him all the time and take care of the house. Although, I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side and eventually I'd want something more. But wouldn't it be something if maternity leave was a year long and we could watch our little babies grow that first year when there is so much growth in such little time? They really don't stay babies long. I've also come to realize that maybe I don't enjoy my job as much as I thought. I met someone during the course of my workday who was so passionate about a venture that she's starting and I could just see that passion in her eyes and how excited she was. It made me sad. I don't feel that sort of passion with what I do. I'd love to have that passion, to walk around with a smile on my face all the time. Instead I feel like a giant stress ball. My job certainly isn't bad and I certainly don't hate it. But there is no passion whatsoever. I really don't know what my passion would be. But I feel like I want to find it. I'd love to maybe have a side "job" or maybe a hobby that was income producing in something I could be excited or passionate about. I feel like my child needs to see what that's like.
The other big change was my attitude towards my job in general. Before kids, I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I enjoy getting out of the house, working, and receiving an income. It makes me feel accomplished. Then came along baby D. I absolutely loved maternity leave and spending every day all day with him. The end of maternity leave was extremely hard. I hate thinking that someone else is spending most of the day with my child and seeing his achievements and his smiles. I really feel like I'm missing out. I really hate dropping baby D off every morning. I would love to stay at home with him all the time and take care of the house. Although, I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side and eventually I'd want something more. But wouldn't it be something if maternity leave was a year long and we could watch our little babies grow that first year when there is so much growth in such little time? They really don't stay babies long. I've also come to realize that maybe I don't enjoy my job as much as I thought. I met someone during the course of my workday who was so passionate about a venture that she's starting and I could just see that passion in her eyes and how excited she was. It made me sad. I don't feel that sort of passion with what I do. I'd love to have that passion, to walk around with a smile on my face all the time. Instead I feel like a giant stress ball. My job certainly isn't bad and I certainly don't hate it. But there is no passion whatsoever. I really don't know what my passion would be. But I feel like I want to find it. I'd love to maybe have a side "job" or maybe a hobby that was income producing in something I could be excited or passionate about. I feel like my child needs to see what that's like.
Monday, April 29, 2013
A Place to Start
As my first blog post, I should start off introducing myself. I'm a twenty something who just celebrated her second wedding anniversary and became a mommy a couple months ago. Life really became chaotic when I returned to work 3 weeks ago. Days pass by all too quickly but yet not quick enough while I'm at work. I know I need to work and working is best for my little guy and the family, but it kills me not to be with him during the day. It makes every weekend and every moment I spend with him even more special. Although getting no sleep at night and no chance to nap during the day really makes me feel like a zombie.
With being a new mother, it's amazing how this little person gets me excited about each day and watching him grow. I've never been so excited about seeing a person smile, talk, or figuring out their hands. And as a wife, it's amazing to see my husband interact with our son and the bond or love that's changed (for the better) between us.
With being a new mother, it's amazing how this little person gets me excited about each day and watching him grow. I've never been so excited about seeing a person smile, talk, or figuring out their hands. And as a wife, it's amazing to see my husband interact with our son and the bond or love that's changed (for the better) between us.
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