Pumping, Spit Up, and Other Tales From The Workplace

Breastfeeding is an awesome experience. Pumping? Not so much. In fact, it sucks. Being hooked up to a machine that pumps milk out of your boobs seriously can make any woman feel like a cow. Not only this, but watching and knowing how much milk is coming out is not exactly stress friendly. However, pumping is good for one thing; free time to catch up on the news, blogs, message boards, or any book that I'm trying to read. That is, if I'm actually working in an office setting or at home. Pumping while driving is doable, but not exactly comfortable. And having to pump in your car wherever is, well, interesting. My job travels so each day I could be pumping somewhere different. At least I know Baby D is getting some of the good stuff while I'm away. I do believe a fellow pumper was leaving the nurses' office as I was coming in. I just have to say, rock on fellow pumper. Rock on. With how many times I've been down there pumping, I don't think I've ever been there at the same time as another pumper.

This morning, before I went to pump, I went and used the restroom. Why am I telling you this? Because as I came out of the stall and looked in the mirror while washing my hands, I realize that right under my boob on my nice place shirt, there is a nice thick line of spit up. How it ended up there I have no idea. That's twice in the last week I've worn spit up to work. I wonder how many people saw me walking around with that on though.

I was joking with the husband the other day that we must have started something. Some if those close to us are now pregnant! By the end of the year our little baby circle will be growing! I am so excited. Babies are so much fun and it will be nice to have other young mommies around.

On a last note, every office should have free caffeine for parents. Not just coffee, as I'm not a coffee drinker, but some sodas too. I am beyond tired today, the office is extremely quiet, and it's dark. I have no windows anywhere around my desk. Talk about forcing my self to stay awake an productive. On a happy note, at least it's Friday!

Mother's Day and Becoming A Mom

I celebrated my first Mother's Day this past weekend which was such a weird feeling.  I'm still getting used to the idea of being a mom.  Of course I know I have a son but it's so weird to think of myself as a mother.  Baby D and my husband made an awesome day for me and I couldn't ask for a better 1st Mother's Day.  It involved sleeping it (woohoo, 8:30!!!), lots of good food, and some awesome gifts.  Baby D/his daycare also made me a card which is the most awesome.  It has his cute little footprints on it in the shape of a butterfly.

I've come to realize just how becoming a mother has changed me and my outlook on things.  Sure, people tell you how a baby changes things.  But it also changes you.  What used to seem important before Baby D, is no longer important.  To be honest, I haven't had my hair done since before Baby D was born, my sense of style has changed now that I have a bit of a belly pooch thanks to pregnancy and a c-section, and stressing out about how others perceive me are a few of things that have changed.  I'm a mom and my son comes before anything.  (Thankfully my job understands this and can accommodate if Baby D is sick or if something were to happen).  I rush off to work in the morning, work extremely hard and more efficiently than before, make sure to leave right on time to rush to pick up Baby D and spend what very few precious hours we have together before bedtime and starting the day over again.  Our house is definitely not as clean as it usually is or how I normally would like it to be.  Life is not at all about me anymore.  Becoming a mother makes you selfless...to devote your time and your energy into your little baby.  It's about making sure he or she is ok, that they're growing and developing and become this really awesome adult one day.  Of course I still have goals for myself and still need to take care of myself, but I feel like my eyes have really opened to life itself.  Having a child is amazing.  I am still amazing the my husband and I created Baby D and that Baby D is a little piece of both him and I.  The emotions I feel towards Baby D is something I have never felt and never knew I could feel.  

3 Months!

Baby D hit the 3 month mark this past weekend.  He's no longer considered a newborn and we've made it out of the so called 4th trimester.  It's crazy how much he's grown!  He seems so tall now.  In the past month he's become pretty talkative.  He's still a very serious baby (who loves to observe everything around him) but when he smiles, it's precious!  Baby D has become more interested in toys and likes to lay more on his back and play.  He can grab these fabric blocks from Bright Starts:

and put the blocks up to his mouth.  Baby D has also begun to play with Sofia the Giraffe:

But his favorite toy is still his playmat.  He'll sometimes play long enough on there to allow my husband and I to eat a meal together.

Baby D is also tolerating tummy time a whole lot more and will actually lift his head and look around.  At the beginning of the past month, baby D was discovering his hands.  Now that they're discovered, he has officially become a thumb sucker.  Each time he's ready to fall asleep, that thumb is in his mouth.

In the last month, baby D has had his first cold and spits up so much more.  His daycare teacher was joking with another mom and I that the other mom's son must have been teaching baby D his spit up techniques.  We go through outfits like crazy.

Everyone Has An Opinion

I noticed this during pregnancy but didn't think much of this.  Absolutely everyone has an opinion on parenting.  It doesn't matter if you're male or female or a person who's had children or someone who is childless.  Everyone seriously has an opinion and thinks they know everything.  I will admit, before becoming a parent, I was one of those people.  However, to those who are parents, shame on you.  (As I hide in a corner as I probably still judge).  So shame on me as well.  As a parent, we should know better to judge another parent for their parenting style.  Unless of course, there is harm to the child/children involved.

During pregnancy and before, there are so many things I said I'd never do.  But you know what?  Take everything you think you know before kids and throw it away.  Once that baby is born, you're in pure survival mode.  It doesn't matter what you thought before.  All you want is just a teensy bit of sleep or maybe a chance to actual put a piece of food in your mouth, you will do whatever it takes to make your little one happy.

And it's amazing the comments I get all the time...I should mention that baby D is just 3 months old.  Comments such as:

              You're spoiling the baby

              You're not skinny anymore

              It's time to give up breastfeeding

             Add cereal to the bottle.  He'll sleep through the night

             Give him water

             He's such a little guy (in regards to Baby D's weight)

I'm sure I can add so much more to this list...but I've probably forgotten a lot of advice/comments I've heard over time.  What worked for one parent may not work for another.  And I've also learned...there are so many different parenting styles.  Not one is better than another.  It's just that one parenting style fits someone better than another.

You know what I've learned?  Every parent is different, every child is different, and you do what you need to do to survive.  Nobody knows everything and things change through the years.  And if it works for us, than great. 

For what it's worth, please don't ever comment on a new mother's weight.  Trust me, the last thing she wants to hear is someone discussing that she's yet to lose all the pregnancy weight.  You know what?  My body is so different that what it was before pregnancy and sure I still have weight to lose.  You can't just lose it all overnight.  It took 9 months (or in my case, 10 months) to put on that weight, why would it just be gone in a month?

I'm hopping off my soapbox now.  Enough with my rant.

A Baby Really Changes Everything

Before being pregnant and even while pregnant, everyone tells you how a baby changes everything.  Sure I believed them.  I knew life would be different having a little person relying on you to provide every need and there is of course less freedom.  However, there are certain aspects I never knew would change.  One being, the need of a bigger car.  I always said I would never drive a minivan and I didn't really understand why a family with one child needed a SUV/Van.  After baby D came along, my understanding has drastically changed.  First, our cars were no where big enough for the carseat.  We had newer cars; a Toyota Corolla and Hyundai Elantra.  When we purchased both, we thought they would be good when we had kids and were expanding the family.  We were so, so wrong.  The Toyota Corolla fit the carseat the best.  But I would still sit pretty close to the steering wheel and the carseat would touch the back of the drivers seat.  In the Elantra, the carseat sits on the passenger side.  To fit, the passenger seat literally has to be all the way forward and straight up and the carseat still touches the back of the seat.  It made being a passenger in the car extremely uncomfortable.  Both the husband and I want a large family and there is no way two carseats would work.  We then thought about the safety aspect of the carseat literally touching the back of the driver or passenger's chair.  If we were in an accident and that seat moved at all, we felt like we would crush D's head.  So we ended up with a new SUV.
The other big change was my attitude towards my job in general.  Before kids, I never wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I enjoy getting out of the house, working, and receiving an income.  It makes me feel accomplished.  Then came along baby D.  I absolutely loved maternity leave and spending every day all day with him.  The end of maternity leave was extremely hard.  I hate thinking that someone else is spending most of the day with my child and seeing his achievements and his smiles.  I really feel like I'm missing out.  I really hate dropping baby D off every morning.  I would love to stay at home with him all the time and take care of the house. Although, I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side and eventually I'd want something more.  But wouldn't it be something if maternity leave was a year long and we could watch our little babies grow that first year when there is so much growth in such little time?  They really don't stay babies long.  I've also come to realize that maybe I don't enjoy my job as much as I thought.  I met someone during the course of my workday who was so passionate about a venture that she's starting and I could just see that passion in her eyes and how excited she was. It made me sad.  I don't feel that sort of passion with what I do.  I'd love to have that passion, to walk around with a smile on my face all the time.  Instead I feel like a giant stress ball.   My job certainly isn't bad and I certainly don't hate it.  But there is no passion whatsoever.  I really don't know what my passion would be.  But I feel like I want to find it.  I'd love to maybe have a side "job" or maybe a hobby that was income producing in something I could be excited or passionate about.  I feel like my child needs to see what that's like.